How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize