my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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