I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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