Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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