it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
