Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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