i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
party gras won. party gras always wins.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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