she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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