She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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