It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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