I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Terrible idea I love it
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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