genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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