Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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