i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
