hotel room ftw
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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