does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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