Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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