Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
