Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize
