so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
