then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
