I like to think it a success when the cops are called
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
