he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
