I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
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IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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