I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
