Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
