Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
