whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
