So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
