i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
