i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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