please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
