she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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