stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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