I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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