I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I still have a little drunk in my system
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
