What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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