This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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