that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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