Will you blow on my dice?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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