My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
