Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
