p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize