Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Randomize
