I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
