We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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