How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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