How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
