Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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