eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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