Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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