we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She even gives head with a lisp.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
