belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
