I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
