I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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