the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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