Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
