Please, let me fuck your mom
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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