@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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