Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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