As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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