Porn is love you can see.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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