I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
